Dear Audiences: 7 Shows in 7 Days

An open letter to concert goers everywhere’€¦ (but mostly Boston)

In November, I spent seven straight days going to shows throughout Boston.  Great performances were a plenty.  Good audiences, on the other hand, were slightly harder to come by.  If you happen to have been at any one (or more) of these shows, forgive me, but take note- because you’re still guilty.

November 2:  Girl Talk- House Of Blues

Dear Girl Talk Crowd,

You know how to party.  I understand that.  Mr. Gregg Gillis a.k.a. Girl Talk?  Well, he knows how to throw one hell of a party.  I like to party.  However, drinking out of a flask until you throw up on yourself and fall on the sticky beer covered floor, I’m pretty sure that’s what the kids call a ‘€œparty foul.’€  Get yourself together.  I had fun with you all, you were a good bunch.  A good, sweaty, belligerent, rowdy bunch, but a good bunch none-the-less.  Never before have I screamed Kelly Clarkson’s ‘€œSince U Been Gone’€ at the top of my lungs (nor will I ever again) and I owe it to you.  Probably more to Girl Talk, actually, but you were right by my side and for that, I thank you.

November 3:  Ian Axel- Harper’s Ferry

Dear Ian Axel Supporters,

You were the best audience I have ever heard.  Literally.  Axel is a small Brooklyn based pop-pianist that not many are familiar with.  His track ‘€œAfterglow’€ has a bridge that includes a three-part harmony, something he cannot do independently.  Without direction, instruction, or preparation, you filled in and harmonized with the pianist and you sounded amazing.  Audiences typically sound like a combination of my tone-deaf roommate singing in the shower and a beached whale.  Kudos.

November 4:  Ray LaMontagne- Wang Theatre

Dear Ray LaMontagne Fans,

You made me feel like a disappointed parent.  The Wang Theatre is a nice venue, a classy joint.  You were all dressed rather nice.  All of you relatively young, in your late twenties to mid thirties with a few older couples sprinkled in there.  Unfortunately, you all seemed to tolerate your alcohol like the individuals in a typical Crime Log ‘€œEntry of the Week.’€  LaMontagne was in top form with his solo acoustic performance, too bad he rushed through it to shut most of you up.  You all seemed to think you had a better set-list than the one he put together and would not stay quiet between songs.  On the rare occasions when he spoke to the audience, he was met with rudely competitive chatter and shouts.  I have a terrible feeling I’ll be seeing many of you again, and I expect to see you on your best behavior next time.  Make me proud.

November 5: Alfred Brendel Master Class- Jordan Concert Hall

Dear Alfred Brendel Audience,

Keep supporting classical music.  That’s really all I can say on this one.  I sat in on the Czech pianist’s ‘€œMaster Class’€ as countless jokes and allusions to famous pieces flew over my head.  I understood very little of what was going on and discussed, but the music was very nice.  As I had expected, you were extremely attentive, interested, and an awesome audience, the Ray Lamontagne fools should definitely take notes.  Keep up the good work.

November 6:  The Swell Season- Berklee Performance Center

Dear Swell Season Crew,

Get over yourselves.  I have to admit, I had already seen the band perform twice, but I was still most excited for this show.  I think they’re really great.  But audience, you guys aren’t that great, nor are you the band; stop acting like you’re better than everyone else.  I know, I know, most of my friends don’t know who they are either.  However, did you happen to notice yourself surrounded by a sold out audience?  The Swell Season may not be the most recognizable name, but they did win an Academy Award, they have sold out venues all over the world, and they are no longer your secret little indie-gem.  It was a great show, the Swell Season is a fantastic band and Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova are incredible performers and charming storytellers.  As for you, audience?  There’s room for improvement.

November 7: Tripping Lily- Café 939

Dear Tripping Lily Followers,

You’re old.  But that’s cool with me.  The crowd was pretty thin at this show; many left after the opener, Irish artist Brian Hanlon.  After he finished, the audience dwindled to around twenty people.  It sounds a little rough, but it led to a very engaging and captivating performance.  Tripping Lily, based out of Cape Cod, is a self-described ‘€œacoustic folk pop quartet.’€  Gathered around a single microphone, the group entertained a group of forty and fifty-somethings’€¦and me.  In a dimly lit room, sitting on the floor, surrounded by a group that could’ve included my parents, I couldn’t help but laugh.  It was like my mother’s Christmas party, everyone there was glad to see me but clearly it’s not quite my crowd.  Surprisingly, it was a really cool environment and the band was very chatty with everyone.  I went in with zero expectations and was pleasantly surprised by the quartet.  Audience, you were lovely, sorry I called you old; my parents wouldn’t be happy with that description, and for the record- I love my mom’s Christmas parties.

November 8: Brother Ali- Paradise Rock Club

Dear Brother Ali People,

You were a pretty solid bunch of hip-hop fans.  All I can ask of you is to put your arms down for a little bit.  I like throwing my arm up and down just as much as the next guy, but it gets to be a little ridiculous.  I am not physically strong enough to keep my hands up for more than five minutes (sad, I know), but twenty minutes?!  That’s obscene.  When a performer demands the crowd to, ‘€œTHROW THEM HANDS UP!’€ obviously, that is an acceptable time to throw your hands up.  If the artist is speaking between songs, meaning there is NO BEAT, I’m a little confused what you’re throwing your hands up to.  Other than that, this was a really fun show.  Minneapolis rapper Brother Ali takes after his Rhymesayers counterpart Atmosphere and has a completely unique style.  It was clear that he was enjoying himself on stage and the audience fed off that energy to make a really great environment.  Good times.

I saw and heard a lot of good music in a quick seven days.  I had a blast doing it.  Observing Boston’s finest audiences was no easy task.  Sharing auditorium, club, theatre and café space with fans of acoustic, folk, pop, electronic, classical, and hip-hop music was quite an experience.  I admit, my dear audiences, I was a little rough on all of you.  As I said earlier, if you were at these shows, I apologize.  HOWEVER, it is also important to remember: I was at ALL SEVEN of these shows meaning that I am the guiltiest of all.  For that, I beg your forgiveness.  Your imperfections were at times annoying, but ultimately made my week what it was- phenomenal!  I learned that I certainly wouldn’t make Boston my first stop if I were a performer.  But, I also learned that Boston is home to a great music scene, with great artists, great patrons and great venues.  Dear Boston, thanks and stay crazy.